On My Birthday 2024

On my birthday I am 73 years old.

When I sat down to write this, I discovered I didn’t write a birthday story last year. While that’s very unusual for me, the more I thought about it the more sense it made. My year between 71 and 72 was a mess, and at this time last year it probably didn’t even dawn on me to write.

As I age, I am beginning to see that life is not a straight line, but rather a series of highs and lows, often brought on by the occurrence of major events.

During the past two years I have realized significant challenges and momentous changes. I have faced loss, disappointment, and image issues, and although I struggled mightily with it, I made it through, and I am now battle-tested, tougher, and ready for the next chapter of my life. I have come to realize that I have a good life, and that I’m very fortunate to live where I do, when I do, and have had family and friendships to help me take advantage of my good fortune! And, most important, I once again realize how lucky I am to have Patty to help me, support me, and love me.
And so I am in a good place on my birthday — physically and mentally. I’m happy, I’m healthy, and I have a lot to look forward to. But it’s been quite a journey to get there …

 
Roller Coaster Ride
The past couple of years have been a roller-coaster ride for me, full of ups-and-downs. I went through a real downturn after Anne died, as I wrote two years ago, and I lost my interest in writing when my San Francisco book flopped. I was heading down a very dark tunnel and to some extent my life was falling apart. I was so focused on the negative things that were happening I often forget to remember the good things. I struggled through many days, and I was really happy only when travelling or volunteering. I was hard to be around sometimes, and I started to drop friendships and connections with family. I was even hard on Patty, and she noticed it. I was heading for trouble.

Last Fall, Patty brought it to my attention. She very nicely pointed out that I was not myself, and she worried that I was hurting my health and my relationships. She didn’t want me to die earlier than necessary, she told me, and she didn’t want to live without me.

I can’t think of a nicer way to tell someone they are falling apart, and it worked. I began to have weekly sessions with a local psychotherapist (Clare), who dug through my superficial coverup and recognized the core issues. She encouraged me to sign up with an outpatient treatment program, which I did. It involved group therapy and individual therapy and withdrawal from all alcohol and pot. I resisted the discipline for a few weeks, and I had trouble sleeping (waking up early and not able to go back to sleep) but I attended and participated in the therapy, and after a couple of months I got into a routine with the program, and my sleeping began to improve. I used meditation and journaling to get the “negative” thoughts out of my head, and to help me work through bouts of anger or embarrassment. My confidence began to increase, my memory started to clear up, and I started to feel better physically. It was working!

Over the next two months I struggled with controlling my emotions, dealing with the routines of the program, and sleeping. I had strange, disturbing dreams and usually woke early in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. Then, about three months into the program things began to turn around.

November 27: Feeling better about the program, my health, and life in general today. Slept better (though still waking very early) and feel more rested in the morning. Have found lately that I am getting things done (calls made, people talked to projects completed) quicker and more effectively. Saying things to people I only thought about saying before. Coming up with ideas to help people and following through on them. It feels good!
From then on, my days improved – I felt more energetic, positive, and happy. Still some moodiness and occasional temper issues, but much more optimistic. Each day throughout December my journalling included the words “positive” and “energetic.” Shorter writings too, and clearer. I had passed a milestone!

I got through the Christmas stress (which is always a trying time for me) and after Christmas I started to sleep better, go with the flow of the program, and enjoy my improved mental and physical health.

January and February were busy and involved ups-and-downs in moods, but overall positive and energetic. I got very busy, with several involved projects: finishing the sunroom, attempting to donate a kidney (more on that later), a big check fraud against me, writing our wills, and planning a vacation – and at times I felt stressed. But overall, I was energetic, positive, and my mood improved. I was beginning to see the light: this lifestyle was so much better than my previous one that I had absolutely no desire to go back.

February 20: Maintaining a pretty steady tempo the past couple of days. Feel good physically and mentally. Thinking a lot about ending the program and getting on with my life. Also, background thoughts about age and what’s left of life. Haven’t felt this good physically in years!
That positive and enthusiastic feeling continued week after week. My sleep was better, my moods were improved, and I now had tools for dealing with the stressful situations that arose. I wrestled with the kidney donation situation and found it to be a reasonable parallel to the stage I was at in my life.

March 18: Very good weekend! Feel good physically and mentally. Got in two good bike rides, good workout, lots of quiet time with Patty. Not thinking about kidney donation. Sort of ambivalent about it right now. Thinking about ending the program April 10 or 17.
After six months of the program, I started to understand what was happening to me and how to deal with it. That was a huge realization for me, and it gave me the confidence that I would be able to deal with future issues on my own.

April 10: Things that used to drive me crazy aren’t quite so important anymore. That’s crucial going forward, and I need even more practice with it and more progress because they used to lead to meltdowns and that was/is bad for me. I need to learn to let things go and to let them work themselves out. They usually do …

It has dawned on me over the past six months that the state I was in presented a huge challenge to me, which if left unchanged could cause serious relationship issues or health problems. I was at an impasse, which needed to be addressed. I had to fix it or ruin my life!
I fixed it. It wasn’t easy, by any means. And I had a tremendous amount of help.

 
A Kidney for Kevin
It had been a while since my sister died, and I was pretty much finished with the darkness that followed her death. Over a couple of years, I figured out other reasons to carry on, and gradually I built up strength and energy. I was ready to consider another noble gesture. My chance came up early in 2024 when our good friend, Kevin, went on dialysis.

Kevin has had chronic kidney disease as long as he can remember, and he has been tracking his kidney functions his whole adult life. We have been getting reports of decreased kidney functioning for several years, and he knew that eventually he would either need a new kidney or he would have to go on dialysis. He began seeking a kidney donation two or three years ago, when his kidney functions began to approach the danger stage. Three people stepped up (his brother, a neighbor/friend, and Julia his wife. All three went through the testing phase, and all three were denied. Kevin’s kidney functions continued to decline, and he began to worry. He solicited help from his contacts, at one point even posting an appeal on social media. No one else stepped forward.

The time eventually came when Kevin had to go on dialysis. He prepared by having a tube inserted into his belly, and he was trained in how to do it. He decided to do home dialysis, which was invasive and complicated, but at least he can do it while he sleeps. His life is very different now, from having to make sure everything is extremely sterile to having a tube sticking out of his stomach, and having fluids pumped into him while he sleeps. And he can’t travel, as he would have to take all the dialysis equipment with him if he did. And he can’t have their dog in his bedroom. So, it involves great inconveniences, but at least he’s alive, he feels vibrant, and he doesn’t have to go to and sit in a dialysis center for hours several times a week.
Patty and I had lunch with Kevin just as he was starting dialysis, and he described his situation to us, and he expressed how much he hoped to get a kidney – soon. Patty and I talked about it on the drive home, and I thought about it for days afterwards. Eventually, I concluded that I could (possibly) offer to donate a kidney to him, and I did research on the process of donating and what life would be like afterward. I stewed on it, and I thought about it, and I eventually came to the conclusion that it would be a worthy thing for me to do to help a very good friend who is in very dire need.

I discussed it with Patty, who was skeptical, but agreed to give it a try. She was not keen on the idea and expressed concern that I might not be as healthy afterwards, and that I might not live as long after the donation. I did enough research to determine that life expectancy was equivalent after donation, as was quality of life. Then I talked at length to a friend who had donated her kidney to a friend in Kevin’s situation. That friend spoke very highly of the process and of her quality of life since, and she assured me several times that she would do it again, knowing what she now knows. That eased my concerns.

With Patty’s tepid approval, I contacted UCSF’s kidney donation department and requested information about donating. They sent me information and a form to fill out if I was interested. I did more research on the testing and donation process, and on life after donation, and I spoke to several people who had medical backgrounds. I met with my physician, who assured me that as far as he could tell I was healthy enough to donate, and that at the very least I would receive the most complete physical exam of my life.

So, I signed up for the donation process with UCSF on January 11, 2024.

The donation process starts with gentle screenings (blood tests, blood pressure tests) and progresses as those are passed. In January and February, I took several blood pressure tests at home, followed by two blood draws and a urine test at a lab. No significant issues were uncovered, and I progressed to a 24-hour urine collection test, a stool sample, and another set of blood tests. Again, no significant issues were uncovered.
At that point, I met on the phone with a patient advocate from UCSF, who questioned my intentions, my background, my mental health, and my lifestyle. It was a serious probe into my previous and current state of mind, and apparently I passed. I would later have five more calls with staff from UCSF, who reviewed with me how organ donation worked, how the process would go, a list of my medications and their purposes, a request for me to conduct a 24-hour blood pressure monitor, and sessions with a social worker and an advocate.

Then the serious testing began. On March 5 and 8, I spent two full days at UCSF, to determine how rapidly my body processed fluids, what shape my heart was in, x-rays of my lungs, talks with nephrologists and kidney surgeons, and having fluids flow through my body and organs while taking cat-scans. Those were anxious days, filled with serious tests, dedicated UCSF staff, and incredible equipment! I came home exhausted, and yet determined to proceed.

That night I wrote about it in my journal:

March 8: Very emotional day! All day at UCSF, after all day there two days ago. In no particular order, I had the following tests/procedures: NM Plasma GFR, Treadmill Stress Echocardiogram, Chest X-Ray, Laboratory, Vitals, Complete Physical and consult with (2) Nephrologists, Consult with Transplant Surgeon, and Renal CT Angiogram.

Emotional ups-and-downs for three days now – very relieved my health is so good! Very excited about the possibility of doing something noble for a good friend! Very disappointed I’m not getting more support for it from PMC and tonight from her brother. Makes me determined to not mention it to anyone else. This is something very personal to me, and other people don’t understand it. I will pursue it until they tell me no! Or, if they don’t tell me no – I will do it! This could be the answer to my need to excel!

At some point in the testing process, I found out that I could donate directly to Kevin. That was a huge psychological boost! Instead of donating a kidney into a pool (which would go to a stranger – but which would move Kevin to the top of the kidney donation list), I would give my kidney directly to Kevin! That meant that I would be in the same building on the same day as Kevin, and that my kidney would be taken out and given directly to Kevin. That made what I was doing much more personal and much more meaningful, and it renewed my determination to do it! I amped up Kevin’s excitement, too!

There were two minor concerns raised by the testing: (1) the tests had determined that I had a couple of small aneurysms in the blood vessels near my kidneys, which while they weren’t a grave danger to me meant that I would not be left with one perfect kidney, which is UCSF’s goal. (2) my blood pressure continued to fluctuate. To see what was causing that, UCSF asked me to wear a blood pressure monitor for 24 hours, which I did.
I thought about the donation process a lot then! I had a lot going on in my personal life, and my days were very full, but this was on my mind all the time.

March 11: Torn about kidney donation. It’s not “haunting” me, but it’s there bubbling under the surface. Sometimes I’m gun-ho ready to do it, and then I get excited about doing a great thing for a good friend. Then other times I’m a little scared and nervous, and I wonder how I would be after the surgery and with just one kidney. Would my life be changed? Would my life be less? Would I regret doing it? I still think UCSF is going to say NO at some point!

Then UCSF stopped calling and sending me messages. I was busy with other projects, but their silence was noticed. I took it to be a bad sign.
March 16: Haven’t heard from UCSF for a week. The longer it goes, the less excited I am about donating.
On March 24 I had a call with Sandy, a social worker. It was intense! She pushed me on my past, my present, and why I want to donate. At the end of the call, I had a “feeling” she was going to recommend against my donation, although she let the testing proceed. I thought about her call for hours, and I confided parts of it to my journal:

March 24: The question and answer I will remember the most was why I want to donate? My answer: “my good friend, Kevin, needs a kidney and I would be able to donate directly to him.” Then I added – “and it would also be a chance for me to do something noble – maybe my last chance to do so.”

We’ll see where it goes from here …

Then on March 28, I had an interview with DeAnne, the advocate for potential kidney donors. She started her call by asking me to name (on a 1-10 scale, with one being I don’t want to donate and 10 being I absolutely want to donate), where I was that day. When I answered that I was at about 7.5, she asked me what it would take to get me to 10. My answer was that if she (or someone else) would assure me that my life would be as good and as long after donation as it would be without donation I would be at 10 “in a heartbeat.” I had the feeling that was not the answer she was hoping for when she responded by telling me that no one could assure me of that. I answered by telling her that’s what everyone had told me, and I was OK with that.

At that point, I got busy with our annual Easter party and didn’t dwell too much on the process. I figured it was out of my control.

Ten days after DeAnne’s call the woman who had been my donor coordinator phoned. She told me “The evaluation committee had met and discussed my donation application and they had decided to “pause” the process, because there were enough concerns that they didn’t want to proceed”. I asked a couple of questions, she responded in general terms, and then she indicated she needed to end the conversation. I told her I had two more questions: (1) who would tell the potential recipient (she said his donor coordinator would contact him, and (2) would I still be able to get the results of my blood pressure tests, to be able to understand why they were erratic (she assured me I would). She hung up and I haven’t heard anything further from UCSF, including the results from the blood pressure tests.

The phone call haunted me, and I thought about it for days. I wrote about it in my journal:

April 2: Just got the call I’ve been expecting and dreading. I’m out as a candidate to donate a kidney. UCSF is officially “pausing the process for now.” Unofficially, they felt I have too much going on in my life now, between health issues and personal issues, and they said they felt I didn’t need this extra stressor.

I was crushed and, at the same time somewhat relieved. Patty was out of town, so I took some time to think about it, and over time I decided I needed to write my feelings down.

April 3: It’s starting to sink in on me now – what happened to the kidney donation process. My intentions were good, but my timing was bad. And now, I have to live with that.

I wrote Patty in Mexico, and she answered in kind. Then I wrote to Kevin.

The note to Kevin was one of the hardest notes I’ve had to write, because I knew he would be crushed. He was.

April 4: Kevin’s note hit me – he’s really taking it hard! But there’s no guilt – because I did my very best and I was completely open and honest all the way to everyone.

I “suspect” that if I wasn’t undergoing the treatment program, and if I hadn’t been so honest about my concerns for the surgery and recovery – I “might” still be on the donation program. But I’ll never know for sure!

Kevin took a couple of days to absorb the news and to calm down. Then her wrote me a very gracious note:

Good morning, Dale.

OK, let’s start at the top. Needless to say, I can’t thank you enough for your kind and thoughtful offer. I also want to thank you for your dedication, time, and patience throughout the entire process. I do know that it is a lot of work…trust me, I go through it all the time. I can completely understand when, after the call, you noted that you collapsed. The result was overwhelming.

So I have had a few days to process the outcome…to be honest, I was a wee bit heartbreaking with it not happening (maybe more than a wee bit),…I was so positive for many weeks. But I’ve just come to the realization that it wasn’t my time yet. The good news is that there is a kidney for me somewhere out there…it just might take a little more time (hopefully not a lot more time.) I’m so happy that I am mobile, still vibrant, and hopeful, as when I visit the clinic, I do see patients that are lost, tired, and in really bad shape. I’m the lucky one…truly.

So, the dialysis continues…while not a bunch of fun, it has shifted to a habit and thank God I can do it while I sleep. If I had to go into a clinic 3 – 4 times a week during the day and sit in a chair for four hours or more, well, I would look lost and tired.

As I always said, you are a hero and will forever remain a hero to me.

Let’s stay positive and as healthy as we can, and hopefully, just hopefully in a year or so, life will take on a different scope –of vitality, energy, and most important travel.

Kevin’s note let me off the hook and helped me get into a better space.
April 7: Becoming calm and relieved about kidney donation issue. Kevin was VERY gracious about it, which helped me settle down. Now, I need to document it before I forget it. It fits in nicely with my inability to “excel” throughout my life.

That bothered me for a few days – the nagging thought that once again I had failed to excel, to deliver that one big accomplishment that would be the pinnacle I had sought for so many years.

Then, a few days later, I drove to Menlo Park to see our good friend, Lynne, and to see the solar eclipse. Lynne is one of those rare people who can capsulate thoughts and really get to the root. I had told her about my attempt to donate a kidney earlier, and she asked me how the process was going. When I told her UCSF had stopped my donation process, she said she admired my gesture, and at the same time she was relieved the process was over. Then she looked at me, and she apparently didn’t think I was as relieved as she thought I should be, and she asked me about it.
“But now I can’t excel at it,” I told her. “I’ve always wanted to excel at something, and this was an attempt on my part to excel at being noble.”
Lynne let that sink in for a few seconds, then she looked me in the eyes and said, “But you did excel by offering to donate and by going through the donation process!” She stopped walking, squared up, and looked at me.

“Don’t you agree?” she demanded.

My mind raced, as I tried to come up with reasons her logic was faulty. I drew a blank.

“Yes,” I agreed. “You’re right! The decision to donate and going through the testing process was in itself a courageous act.” We both smiled, turned, and started walking.

***

So, I did excel at something. I offered to give part of myself to help a friend. That knowledge is settling into my heart and radiating out as comfort. And it also makes me realize that I give part of myself each time I drive across San Francisco to shop for a shut-in lady, or drive a senior to a doctor’s appointment, or serve lunch to a group of low-income seniors. And each time I sit down and write the story about someone whose life story would otherwise go untold. And each time I call Keith or Cousin Judy or write to June or Lana just to make their lives a little better.
Maybe the act of excelling isn’t curing cancer, or winning the Noble Prize, or becoming a professional baseball player or the youngest Vice President of a bank. Maybe it’s becoming a good, helpful human who spends the years given to him or her doing good and helping others.

 
Writing
I lost my interest in writing when Anne died. It didn’t drive me anymore, my writing wasn’t successful, and I was depressed. I tried writing stories about the difficult decisions U.S. presidents had to make, and lost interest in it – it had already been done and it was difficult to read. About that time, I watched a documentary movie about Judy Blum, who wrote books for children, and it dawned on me that I would like to try that.
So, I cooked up a book about two eight-year-old boys who were assigned to do a “big project” in their U.S. history class. They decided to do it about U.S. presidents. I researched kids’ books, talked to teachers of 8-year-old children, and invented a storyline. It required several drafts to get it to the point where 8-year-old kids could absorb it, and I continued to add a few twists-and-turns to make it interesting. When I was satisfied with it, I reviewed it with the teachers, who blessed it. I found an illustrator, who worked up some wonderful images to go with the story, and I published it as Noah and Mateo and the Big Project.

I was pleased with the way it came out, and I gave copies to my friends, relatives, local bookstore, and library, and I moved on to another project. The book got good reviews, but it didn’t sell well. Oh well … by now I have realized that I’m not writing for the public, but for myself.

My next writing project has been my hardest so far – a fiction story about a driverless taxi that kidnaps a guy. It’s loaded with characters who have deep, dark secrets, and one of the characters is hard for me to articulate. So far, I’m at about six months and three drafts, and while it’s getting closer, it still needs work. As a result of these last two writing projects, I have resolved two things: (1) I will probably not write more fiction, and (2) I will continue to write as long as I’m able.

I still love writing, and it’s a big part of me. I scheme aspects of whatever project I’m working on during the day, and as I lay in bed going to sleep. When a sentence or an article turns out well, I feel good and tend to read it over-and-over. I’m happiest when I write something about someone that makes the subject out to be special. It’s possible that that’s my superpower – writing good things about good people.

 
Health
My physical health is good, and it has improved over the past year. I’m stronger than two years ago, and as durable as I’ve been in the past decade. I have some minor balance issues (which I’m working on) and the arthritis in my feet is painful. The intense examination I went through to donate a kidney examined every aspect of my physical health, and I came out in good shape! Other than up-and-down blood pressure readings (which no one seems to be able to explain), all they found out is that I’m low on Vitamin D and Vitamin B-12, so I’m taking supplements. I go to a gym two or three times each week and do an intense workout that involves stretching, strengthening, core and balance exercise, weightlifting, and a cardio workout. In addition, I do cardio exercise (walking or cycling) nearly every day. I can still walk as far and lift as much as when I was 60, so I’m happy with my physical state.

Sunroom
After four years, we finally finished our sunroom this past year! The project that seemed like it would never get done, that was held up by San Francisco bureaucracy, then Covid, and then when we couldn’t find a contractor to do the work — was finally completed in January. The room is wonderful, and it adds another welcoming space to our already cozy home! So far, we’ve added a rug, two chairs, two indoor trees, and a table. It’s so nice to sit there and look out on our garden, especially when it’s raining!

Volunteering
I’ve stepped up my volunteering a little over the past year. I help serve lunch to the seniors at Tel Hi on Wednesdays, and I shop for two seniors every week. In addition, I take seniors to and from doctor’s appointments as needed.
I’ve recently started shopping for Amelia and Margaret DeBono, who are sisters living in the Marina district. Amelia is 95 and Margaret is Amelia’s older sister. They are wonderful, sweet women, and I’m thoroughly enjoying getting to know them!

Friends
The older I get the more our group of friends means to me. We’ve been together for more than three decades now, and we’ve shared happy experiences, sad experiences, ups and downs, and the one constant is that we always support each other. At this age, we’re beginning to experience illness and other health issues, and it’s even more important that we have each other. And now, we’re beginning to experience our friends’ grandchildren, which is yet another wonderful part of friendship. Patty and I have had the good fortune to spend time with Beck and Sarah’s children, Will and Lydia, over the past year, and it’s very special to watch them grow and develop. I will never forget walking with Lydia and when we needed to cross the street she reached up and took my hand. I looked down and there was this tiny warm hand clutching mine!

Travel
We had two major trips over the past year, and both were excellent!

The first trip was to Lake Bled in Slovenia, followed by a week-long bicycle trip through Italy, Slovenia, and Austria. Both segments were terrific – among the best trips we’ve taken! Slovenia is a wonderful, hidden treasure, filled with friendly people, beautiful sights, and all at an easy pace. Lake Bled is a gathering place for tourists, honeymooners, and seniors, and it features a beautiful setting amidst snow-capped mountains, and traditional row boats manned by locals who pass the craft down from generation to generation. The locals are taught English throughout school, and they speak it fluently. We spent our days hiking around the lake, cycling in the hills on all sides of the lake, and dining in a variety of interesting restaurants.
After a few days at Lake Bled, we joined our bike tour group (VBT) in Ljubljana, Slovenia’s capital. It was a good group (all Americans) that included nine people who went to the University of Michigan many years before and who re-united for this tour. They were fun to be with, and the guides and lodging were terrific. It was Spring, and we were treated to wildflowers, snow-capped mountains, the Italian cycling championship, and the European rowing championships at Lake Bled.

One down note – Patty got a bad cold part way through our tour, and with Covid still around, we were sequestered from the group at our gatherings and required to wear face masks. The rest of the group were kind, however, so it wasn’t too bad.
In September, we took a week-long trip to upstate New York with Ken and Vicki, Geoff and Nancy, and Misty. There were numerous highlights, including the Baseball Hall of Fame, FDR’s home, Culinary Institute of America, West Point, Storm King Art Center, and Olana (Frederic Church’s estate). Everyone got along well, and it was terrific to be able to travel with our special group of friends!

News
The world is slowly coming apart, little by little. Tensions are flaring in the Middle East, Europe, China, Africa, and Asia. Those of us who have been around for awhile can sense growing unrest, and it wouldn’t take a lot for it to burst wide open. In the middle of all that unrest, most economies are still hurting from the negative effects of Covid, now three years removed from the peak.

The war in Ukraine is the worst conflict. Russia attacked Ukraine over two years ago, and they have murdered soldiers, women, and children, attacked churches and schools, bombed electric plants in an attempt to freeze the Ukrainians, and left millions of landmines behind when they retreated. For a while the Ukrainians were pushing the Russians back, but they ran out of ammunition and now it seems to be a stalemate. Biden asked Congress for additional funds to help the Ukrainians, and most members of both houses agreed, but then Trump interfered, and the House of Representatives tabled the request. The Ukrainians were running out of ammunition. Finally, the House relented and voted to pass the request for additional funds, which is now being used to help the Ukrainians.

Last September, war broke out in Israel. The conflict began after the Palestinian militant group, Hamas, launched an attack on southern Israel on October 7, 2023, that left 1,200 people dead and saw over 200 more taken hostage. Israel declared war on Hamas and attacked them in Gaza, sometimes killing innocent Palestinians living there in the process. That goes on, and to date thousands of Palestinians have died, but Israel says it will not stop until Hamas is wiped off the face of the earth. Many countries have intervened, trying to work out a solution, to no avail. The U.S. is not directly involved, but is implicated, because we supply military supplies to Israel. Biden tried to persuade Israel to stop the war but was not successful. Now, protests against Israel’s military actions are breaking out across the U.S. and in Europe. People want the killing to stop.
The wars are taking some people’s attention away from climate change, which continues unabated. Ice caps are melting, oceans are heating up, storms intensify, and still little is done to correct the situation. Future generations, long after we’re gone, will ask why we did nothing to prevent the climate disaster they must live with.

The U.S. continues to be deeply divided between those who think the country is led by good, knowledgeable people and things are generally going well and those who think the government is the worse in history and the country is in horrible shape. And that’s not an exaggeration – there are people in leadership position who say it out loud. Perhaps they are parroting Donald Trump, who at every campaign speech says the U.S. is in terrible trouble and is led by the most corrupt president in history.

Trump
Speaking of Trump, he is currently on criminal trial in New York City, accused of illegally hiding reporting payments he ordered made to a porn star who accused him of having an affair with him. So, we get to see the former president of the United States (and the presumed Republican candidate for president this year) sitting in a New York courtroom every weekday now, charged with crimes. And we are confronted daily with the names he calls people who oppose him, and we are insulted by the constant lies he tells. Then, we must witness when Republican Senators, Representatives, and Governors endorse him for president.

At this point the polls show a very close race between Trump and Biden, and I think much of the world sees it as a kindly, honest, experienced 81-year-old running against a lying, cheating, narcissistic 77-year-old. Historians will write about this for a hundred years, and future generations will ask what we were thinking, why did so many Americans support and vote for such a horrible person, and why weren’t there younger people to take over?

San Francisco’s Doom Loop?
In San Francisco, we are suffering what some people are calling a doom loop, following the Covid pandemic. Downtown office buildings are not filling back up as quickly as in other cities, as many high-tech companies allow their workers to work from home. Some downtown retailers are leaving town (including Macy’s) because of the empty office buildings, decreases in in-store retail shopping, and higher rates of crime. And San Francisco’s reputation has been sullied, largely by right-wing media, who exaggerate the drug, homeless, and crime issues the city faces. My observations are that things in San Francisco are not worse than during the pandemic, but they have not improved as quickly as they should have. There will be an election this November that will include San Francisco mayor, and it will be a crucial one for the city.

Cecil Williams
Cecil Williams died April 22 at age 94. The New York Times wrote this about him:

The Rev. Cecil Williams, a charismatic minister who turned a fading church in the gritty Tenderloin neighborhood of San Francisco into a vibrant hub of worship, activism and social services, died on Monday at his home in the city. He was 94.

The San Francisco Chronicle included this about him:

“Civil rights pioneer, champion for the poor and hungry, and probably the most influential religious figure in San Francisco over the past 50 years.”
Everyone in San Francisco knew who he was, and nearly everyone had at least one story about him.

Now, there was a man who excelled!