Dale Says

On my birthday I’m 58 years old.  I started the day in Chicago, where I attended and spoke at the annual SCIP conference, and ended it at home in San Francisco.  It was an excellent birthday and a fitting end to an eventful year.

My life was coasting along smoothly through the spring and summer.  I was enjoying our cozy San Francisco home, my life with Patty, and my second career as a freelance writer.  We had three fabulous trips to Croatia, the Grand Canyon, and New Zealand, and we were enjoying the wonderful city we live in, hanging out with our friends and family, and spending time with my parents in Nebraska and friends in Oklahoma.  I was writing travel and human interest articles and doing consulting work in the financial services industry.

I was also closely following the historic U.S. presidential primary race between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, which was in a virtual dead heat through most of the spring and summer.  I watched Obama eke out a narrow victory, then engage in three decisive debates with John McCain, the Republican candidate.  Their running mates (Joe Biden and Sarah Palin) also campaigned and debated and it looked like it was going to be a close election.

Then in the fall the wheels came off the U.S. economy.  Mortgage foreclosures, over-extended consumers and financial institutions, and reckless investments all came to a head in October and November and the U.S. stock market crashed, losing 50% of its value.  Consumer spending came to a halt.  The U.S. government intervened, a $700 billion stimulus bill was pushed through Congress, and several huge financial institutions were closed, sold, or merged into other large, wobbly banks.  Gone in a matter of a few weeks were household name institutions like Goldman Sachs, Merrill Lynch, Washington Mutual, and Wachovia.  The surviving organizations weren’t in much better shape, so the government began infusing massive amounts of money into them, to cover bad debts and encourage them to loan money to businesses and individuals.  For awhile, it appeared we might have another depression.  Instead, after the dust settled, it looks like we’re facing the worst recession since the 1930s.

My savings were cut in half in six weeks, my consulting work dried up, and I spent the holidays looking for work.

Barack Obama was elected in November and he immediately began putting together a massive economic stimulus plan, which he pushed through Congress shortly after he was inaugerated — in a wonderful, historic ceremony in January.

My cousin Terri told me about a group of freelance writers who were developing online training courses for hospitals and she invited me to join the effort, which I did in January.  I’ve been working pretty much full time for them since.

My father died in November, following a long-term struggle with Parkinsons.  His death, while not a surprise, was difficult.  I was shaken by the finalness of it and have had several occasions since when I wanted to tell him something, but am caught by his absence.  He led a good, full life and he is an example to me in many ways.  My mother is adjusting to Dad’s absence.  It’s hard for her, of course, after being with him constantly for 60 years, and I’m proud of the way all of my siblings are helping her.  I plan to continue to go to Chappell several times each year to spend time with her.

At this stage of my life I feel I’m on the brink – between youth and middle age, between becoming a successful writer and a retiree, and between just getting by and being fulfilled.  There are many complex and difficult challenges facing me, and I know that the way I deal with them will decide to a great extent how successful and happy I will be.

The San Francisco Chronicle this morning had a large advertising sticker plastered across its front page — partially obscurring the banner and lead news story.  The symbolism was significant, as U.S. newspapers are struggling, as they continue to have fewer advertisers and readers.  Readership is down across the U.S. as more people get their news online, and businesses are cutting their advertising budgets and shifting much of their remaining business to online sources, such as Craig’slist, which are siphoning off consumer advertising and switching it to the Internet.  By this time next year there might not be a printed newspaper in San Francisco and many other major U.S. cities.

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan continue to drain the U.S. of much-needed money and young men and women, and the wars are dividing the U.S.  Obama intends to withdraw all U.S. military from Iraq, but unfortunately they will be sent to Afghanistan.  The situation in Iraq seems to be a little more stable, but that’s small comfort after more than six years of war and the deaths of more than 100,000 Iraqis and 4,000 U.S. service men and women.

Technology still rules and the profound switch to online and wireless applications continues, despite the weak economy.  Communication, financial transactions, research, and social networking are now done mostly through the Internet.  Every day, new technology and applications appear to make things easier and faster, and everyone (especially the young) are embracing it.  Texting and social networking (through services like Facebook and Twitter) are used widely to locate others, communicate, campaign, purchase, and date.

“Green” is big and environmental awareness is popular.  Saving water, electricity, paper, etc. has become important and politicians, advitisers, etc. are quickly jumping on the “green” bandwagon. 

Consumer spending and corporate excesses are down.  Everyone is tightening their belts and preparing for what looks to be a lengthy economic downturn.  Many consumers have postphoned vacations, major purchases, and retirements.  The U.S. and other developed countries have encountered a major setback, and they are pulling in their horns and preparing for a major slow period.  Some countries, including the U.S., are projecting major budget deficits, which could have serious effects on future generations.

What started off as a great year ended as a somewhat troubling year.  Still, things are generally good, and my future is bright.  I will continue onward and will maintain a positive outlook.  Life at 58 is good.      

April 24, 2008

On my birthday, I’m 57 years old.

This has been another good year! I’m enjoying having more time for family and friends, travel, volunteer work, and pursuing my second career as a freelance writer and editor.

It’s now been more than four years since I left the corporate world and my life is very full and rewarding. Patty and I fill our free time with volunteer activities, travel, and trips to see our family and friends and I continue to volunteer for SCIP (writing, speaking, serving on the Education Committee), and have joined the board of directors of the Telegraph Hill Neighborhood Center.

We continue to travel for adventure and to see family and friends. We’ve been to Chappell several times the past year and I enjoy the trips and get a good deal of satisfaction from being with my parents. My Dad’s Parkinsons is very advanced and his quality of life is greatly reduced, but he is not in pain and he receives very good and kind help from the staff at Chappell’s nursing home. Mom’s heath has improved greatly since Dad checked into the nursing home and she is doing well. I’m proud of each of my brothers and sister’s efforts to go to Chappell to help Mom out.

We also go to Stillwater regularly and we’re making progress changing the house there into a second home for Allan, Patty, and me. We have friends we see each time we are in Stillwater and we bought bikes and ride whenever the weather permits.

And we’ve had some more terrific adventure trips over the past year, too! In May, we went to New York for the SCIP conference, and to Illinois to see Beck Diefenbach graduate from college. In July, we traveled to Oregon and filmed the Wilson family history. We spent time in Drakesbad in August and had a wonderful two-week trip to Chile and Argentina in November.

We’ve had lots of visitors, too, including the Zielinski’s (June), Linda and John Henry (August), Julie Wilson (September), John and Beth Spence (October) and Alan and Mary Chappel (November and December).

We were part of the Victorian Alliance House Tour in October, which involved more than 600 people touring our house.

I continue to be involved in the Dashiell Hammet Society of Studs, which is a social organization consisting of five studly friends (Lee Tyree, Geoff Noakes, Bill Diefenbach, Ken Monk and me). We get together for dinner every quarter, tell lies, and have a lot of fun. My job is to write minutes for those meetings, which are posted to the website (www.dhsos.com).

My career as a writer and editor is progressing slowly, but surely. I continue to write a regular column for SCIP, and have had success getting profiles and travel articles published. I took an advanced writing class and have focused my writing on travel, history, and profiles. I’m also doing more query letters now, rather than writing articles and then trying to sell them.

I’ve also realized that documentary videos, while fun to produce, are very costly, and I’ve reduced the number I produce each year to one or two. In the place of videos, I’ve taken on more editing jobs and consulting work, which earns money and keeps me focused.

I still have my office three blocks from home and I get a great sense of achievement each day from walking there and working on my writing, editing, and consulting jobs.

My health is generally good. In February I had a total knee replacement, which went well and has given me a good deal of pain relief. The surgery was a big deal and the recovery was a challenge, but now, three months later, I’m better off than I was before the surgery and have less pain. I’m walking without pain and without a limp, riding my bicycle, and have a little more flexion than I had before the surgery.

All in all, life at age 57 is good. I feel like I’ve been blessed with good fortune, a wonderful mate, and a terrific opportunity.

In the news, the biggest stories the past year have been the continuing the Iraq war, which has been going on for more than five years, and the U.S. presidential election, which is one of the most interesting in my lifetime. At this point, John McCain has wrapped up the Republican nomination, but the Democratic race is a very tight contest between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Imagine that – an African-American and a woman reunning neck-and-neck for the presidential nomination!

The Iraq war continues to be a horribly bloody, complex, expensive mess and there’s no end in sight. It’s now taking thousands of lives each month (including over 4,000 U.S. lives to date), is costing more than $10 billion per month, and has divided the U.S. population. It will take many years for us to recover from the expense and divisiveness it has cost.

The U.S. economy has slowed considerably and most economists think we are now in a recession. The main cause is a major mortgage crisis, caused by marginal variable mortgage loans that have increased as interest rates went up. Thousands of people have lost their homes, walked away from their loans, and given up. Banks and other businesses related to the mortgage industry are turning in huge losses each quarter, and we don’t yet seemed to have reached the bottom. The president and congress developed a tax “refund” that will involve mailing checks to most U.S. consumers – in an effort to stimulate the economy.

The price of oil has reached an all-time high ($120 per barrel yesterday) and it is causing a tremendous ramp-up of gasoline prices, which is affecting the cost of most everything. Gasoline is now selling for around $4.00 per gallon, and the cost of nearly everything is going up as a result.

Last year’s birthday story said “hi-tech is back, the stock market is hot, and Barry Bonds is about to break the all-time home run record.” Things are a little different this year, as the stock market is down, prices are up, and Barry Bonds is gone. But, like last year, life is good!

April 24, 2007

On my birthday, I’m 56 years old.

This year I spent my birthday in Oregon with my sister Anne and her family. We had a great time with Anne, Buzz, and Ian, including a crab feed in Depoe Bay, a yacht club party in Newport, a visit with the Zielinski’s, and a day trip to Fort Stevens and Astoria. It was a wonderful way to spend my birthday!

All in all, things are going very well. I’m enjoying having more time for volunteer work, travel and family; getting along well in my second career as a writer and editor; and experiencing generally good health.

My life still feels very full because Patty and I fill our free time with volunteer activities, travel, and trips to see our family and friends. Patty is immersed in many activities that help friends and groups; including the Telegraph Hill Neighborhood Center (Tel-Hi), PEO, Theta, Metropolitan Club, and numerous friends and relatives that are incapacitated or under the weather. I continue to volunteer for SCIP (writing, speaking, serving on the Annual Conference Program Committee, and heading the Education Committee), and contribute to Project Open Hand, Friends of the Elderly, and Tel-Hi. This year, I will also begin serving on the Board of Tel-Hi, which I am looking forward to.

We continue to travel to family events and for adventure. I’ve been to Chappell at least six times the past year to see my Dad and help my Mom adjust to living alone. I enjoy the trips, and get a good deal of satisfaction from being with my parents and in Chappell. My Dad’s Parkinsons is very advanced and his quality of life is greatly reduced, but he is not in pain and he receives very good and kind help from the staff at Chappell’s nursing home. Mom’s heath has improved greatly since Dad checked into the nursing home and she is doing remarkably well. I’m proud of each of my brothers and sister’s efforts to help them.

We also go to Stillwater regularly, and are making progress changing the house there into a second home for Allan, Patty, and me. Stillwater is a nice town to visit and we have many friends there. And the family home is a tremendous source of comfort for Allan and Patty.

And we’ve had some more terrific adventure trips over the past year, too! Last October, Patty and I joined Kevin, Julia and family and friends for a wonderful week at a villa in Tuscany to celebrate Julia’s 50th birthday. We had a magical time exploring the hill towns of central Italy, and enjoying the fabulous food there. Patty, Allan, Cousin Tom and I then found our way to the Loire Valley and rode bikes for a week through the fabulous vineyards, castles, and villages in that central France region.

In March, we spent two weeks exploring Australia with the Tyrees and Diefenbachs. We stayed for four days in Sydney with Alan and Mary Chappel, then rented cars and drove north to Brisbane, exploring the coast, bush, and wildlife along the way. We climbed the Harbour Bridge, explored the Blue Mountains, rode an overnight train, and spent four fabulous days on Hamilton Island near the Great Barrier Reef. It was a trip to remember!

My career as a writer and editor is progressing slowly but surely. I continue to write regularly for SCIP, and last year I had several profiles and travel articles published. I have realized, however, that this is not the way to becoming a successful writer, and that I need to make an adjustment. I have signed up for an advanced writing class and may explore a book proposal over the next year. Meanwhile, I am focusing in American history as a genre for my article writing.

I’ve also realized that documentary videos, while fun to produce, are very costly at this point, and I’ve reduced the number I plan to do this year to one or two. In the place of videos, I’ve taken on more editing jobs, which earn money and keep me focused on proper writing techniques.

I’ve rented an office just three blocks from our house and I get a great sense of achievement each day from walking there and working on my writing and editing. It’s exactly what I dreamed of for so many years!

My health is generally good. At 56 I feel good and can do most anything I could do at 40 – though with a bit more pain. My right knee gives me fits, and I’ve been on a waiting list for cartilage replacement surgery for six months now. My bad knee causes me to limp, which has caused intermittent hip and back problems over the past couple of years. I’m trying to manage it with stretching and massage therapy, and I generally feel pretty good.

All in all, life at age 56 is good. I feel like I’ve been blessed with good fortune, a wonderful mate, and a terrific opportunity.

In the news, the big story of the year continues to be the Iraq war, which has been going on for more than four years. The U.S. is hopelessly mired in a conflict it can’t win, and they feel they can’t get out of. President Bush recently called up 21,000 more troops to stabilize Baghdad and surrounding communities. The Democrats have now taken control of the Senate and House and they are trying to force Bush and Co. to set a schedule to bring the troops home from Iraq, which he is resisting. The stated reason for invading Iraq has been refuted, and the country is now hopelessly mired in a civil war, yet for some reason Bush insists on maintaining more than 125,000 troops there, at an annual cost of more than $125 billion.

The U.S. economy is slowing, after a tremendous run-up, based on corporate earnings and speculation of continued growth. The housing market is down, however, and the auto, airline, and financial services industries are slumping. A recession is ahead; the question is how bad it will be.

The run-up to the 2008 election is underway. This will be an interesting election, as it will be the first in many years in which a sitting president or vice president will not be running. Top Democratic candidates include Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards; top Republicans are John McCain, Rudolph Giuliani, and Mitt Romney.

A terrible event occurred last week when a student at Virginia Tech University shot and killed 32 people and himself in an unexplained mass killing. The carnage and stupidity have left all of us depressed and sad.

Boris Yeltsin died today. He was the bear-like peasant who defended democracy in the Soviet Union during a Soviet coup and went on to become the first leader in Russian history to be democratically elected. On the same day, David Halberstam, an award-winning journalist and author died south of San Francisco in an auto accident.

Hi-tech is back, the stock market is hot, and Barry Bonds is about to break the all-time home run record. Life is good!

April 24, 2006

On my birthday, I’m 55 years old.

At 55, I see life as half full. The past couple of years have been among the happiest of my life. I’m very pleased with our lives, our families and friends, and our home. Most of all, I’m very grateful to have Patty in my life. She helps me be more than I would otherwise be, and she steers me to a more positive place in my life.

I find that at this point in my life I am faced with an incredible opportunity. Two-and-a-half years ago I was laid off from the corporate world, and I am now working on my own as a free-lance writer and editor. It’s exciting and rewarding, and all-in-all it’s coming along just fine.

Mid-50s in general has had the usual ups and downs, and doubts and uncertainties that seem to accompany middle age. I’m trying to deal with it by focusing on the positive things in my life, and learning to deal with the negative.

Patty and I were both “down-sized” from the corporate world. Combined, we worked 39 years for a well-known global company, which rewarded our loyalty and commitment by prematurely ending our employment. Fortunately for us, they sent us packing with enough of severance package that we are able to get through to second careers, and hopefully to retirement.

At this age, we – along with most of our friends – are dealing with the anguish of aging parents. We lost Patty’s dear mommy in 2000, and her father last year, and we are learning how to deal with a world without them. My father is very bad with Parkinson’s and lives in a nursing home.

Physically, middle age is beginning to have an effect. It takes just a little longer to get going each morning, and I’m a little sorer after working in the garden. But I can still do just about anything I want, and can still push myself, so I’m learning how to deal with physical exertions.

I find that travel refreshes me. Each trip we take we meet friendly people and find terrific new places to explore, and we continually re-discover that we live in a wonderful world.

In the news, there is general unrest in the world, and lots of bad news in the newspaper each day. The world is trying to figure out how to deal with despots, and how to handle differences of opinion without killing one another. We’re also trying to figure out how to keep from destroying ourselves through nuclear war or global warming. And perhaps most urgently, we’re trying to figure out how to fulfill a relentlessly increasing demand for oil.

For more than 20 years I’ve been writing summaries of what’s going on in my life and in the world around me on my birthday. Here’s an excerpt from 2005 …

April 24, 2005

On my birthday I’m 54 years old.

The past year has been a great one! I’m adjusting to being away from the corporate world and love the time available to spend with family and friends, traveling, and pursuing my dream of becoming a writer.

My love for Patty has increased over the past year, although the time and energy we are putting into our families is straining us. I’ve had to grow since leaving Visa, including in my relationship with Patty, and my appreciation and love for her has also grown. Each day I become increasingly aware of what a wonderful person she is and how important she is to our families, our friends, and to me.

We are very fortunate to still have three parents. Patty’s father has had his share of troubles the past year, but none has been fatal. He had an angioplasty and three stents in his arteries in December, and has had chest tightness with hospitalizations twice since. He had chest pains in May when we were all set to go on an Alaskan cruise, and we spent three days (including his birthday) in a Seattle hospital. Through it all, he continues to be steadfast and determined to go on, and his spirit is setting a wonderful example for the rest of us.

My father continues to slowly decline, both physically and mentally. He went through a period of hallucinations last November and December and he was occasionally uncontrollable. His doctors changed his medication and the result has been a much more controlled but forgetful person He has fallen several times the past year, including three in the past two months. So far, he hasn’t been hurt badly. He gets lost in his house now and he can’t carry much of a conversation. At this point, he is aware he is losing his memory and it drives him crazy. He is generally good-natured, though, and is grateful to be in his own home and for the help he gets.

So far, my Mom’s health has held up, although she had a health scare this year. Fortunately, it turned out to be a minor issue, and she seems to be better now. Between my siblings and us someone is in Chappell every other week, and I’ve gone neary every month the past year. Patty goes with me frequently, and Mom and Dad love our visits. We take them homemade things, and entertain Dad and cook for Mom, and we help them with projects around their house. Our hope is to keep Dad at home as long as possible.

Watchiing your parents go through this is tough, but we are constantly grateful that we have this time with them.

The group of friends we hang out with is very important to us and they provide a great deal of support and encouragement to us. We get together with them frequently and talk to them continuously. The husbands get together every couple of months for DHSOS meetings (Dashiel Hammet Society of Studs — a literary organization) and our wives get together for birthday dinners. Our annual trip to Drakesbad is an event we all look forward to. The week together this year was another great one, including a side trip to Ashland, Oregon and a leisurely stay at the guest ranch in August.

In October Patty, her cousin Tom, and I took an eight-day self-guided bicycle tour of Sicily. It was a fabulous trip! The scenery was wonderful, the history incredible, and the food remarkable. Sicily is now one of our favorite places, and the bike tour created a wonderful lasting memory.

Last May we took a Inside Passage cruise from Vancouver to Alaska with Allan and Paul. It was a terrific experience that included fabulous views, excellent food,, and a great family togetherness.

My grandfather’s Fehringer family got together in Estes Park in June for a family reunion. It was a great time and an opportunity for everyone to see each other. I filmed the reunion, made a video of it, and sent the video to family members.

For the past several years I’ve gone to sleep each night thinking about someday becoming a freelance writer, and now I’ve got the chance to give it a try. After a year and a half, I’m finding it tremendously rewarding — and a little frustrating. The reward of seeing your writing in print and getting good feedback on it is worth the frustration. I’ve found a catch-22 in this business: publishers don’t want to deal with you if they don’t know you, and it’s difficult to become known without being published. The secret seems to be to find and befriend small magazine editors, and I’m concentrating on that now. So far, I’m writing a column for Competitive Intelligence magazine, articles for SCIP.Online, and have had three or four travel articles published in small travel magazines. And I worked with my Mom to put together “Miss Lacy,” a tribute to her mother. I’m working on developing my writing “voice” and finding niche publications to carry my work.

I’m still making videos, and I love that work. Monique and I made four films the past year: Abaco (about our vacation in the Bahamas), Gathered Together (the Fehringer reunion), Arthur (a product promotion for my friend, Arthur James), and SCIP at 20 (for the SCIP annual conference).

Thankfully, the SCIP Annual Conference went off without a hitch. Attendance exceeded expectations and reviews ranged from “best conference in several years” to “best conference ever.” I worked very hard for a long time on the conference, and I used all my managerial skills to herd a group of 20 or so volunteers and 10 staff through the process of selecting and organizing 1,200 attendees, 90 speakers, and 60 educational sessions over a four-day period. It was a terrific transition between working full time and not working, and it helped me keep up my social and industry contacts and gave me a great sense of accomplishment.

Other than an occasional bit of anger over the way my exit from Visa was handled, I rarely think about Visa now. I feel good about my years there and am happy to be out with as much sanity as I have left. I’m grateful for the financial benefits and experience I had and am moving on with the next phase of my life. One surprise so far is how little additional time I have. True, I spend a sizeable chunk of time helping my parents and Patty’s father, and I’ve been very busy with SCIP activities. And we exercise and travel more. But I want to write more this coming year, and I need to set more time aside to do that.

In the news, the past year has seen a step backward for the world, as the U.S. continues to over-react to the terrorist attacks of 2001. As the only remaining super power, the U.S. is clearly leading the world, and it is leading it by imposing its sense of right and wrong on other countries. Unfortunately, that means waging wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. European nations are trying to find a way to work with President Bush and his bullying tactics, but the U.S. is increasingly finding itself alone on most international issues.

George Bush was re-elected last fall by a narrow margin. John Kerry ran against him, but Kerry didn’t come across as a strong leader and he didn’t connect with enough Americans. And the Republicans sabotaged him during the election by questioning his patriotism. So we’re stuck with four more years of Bush’s right-wing views and policies that further divide the country. Two of the hardest things about Bush are his arrogance and the type of people he surrounds himself with. Many are cronies of his father, while others are bullies with sketchy backgrounds. Donald Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, and Carl Rove are among his inner circle and all will go down in history as corrupt intimidators.

The price of oil has soared over the past year and is consistently over $50 per barrel now. The high prices are dragging the U.S,. economy and hurting industries dependent on oil. The airline industry, for example, is in complete choas with some of the largest players in bankruptcy. The price of gas has risen too, by nearly $1.00 a gallon over the past year. We now pay $1.50-2.00 a gallon, which is stressing a lot of U.S. budgets.

The U.S. economy continues to grow (slowly), though is it being dragged down by record budget and trade deficits. And looming over it are the problems with social security and medicare. At current trends the social security system will run out of funds sometime in the next two decades, and medicare will run out of money before that. And no one wants to do anything about it.

Pope John Paul II died in April after 26 years as head of the world’s 1.1 billion Catholics. He was well-respected by the whole world for his faith and fights for the poor. More than any other pope, he reached out to other faiths, and he touched the whole world.

In California, the glow has worn off Arnold’s crown. The bodybuilder-turned actor-turned governor has had to make tough choices when proucing a budget in a shrinking economy, and some of the groups who elected hiim got the short end of it. Most noticably, the state teacher’s union ran a series of scathing TV ads that say Arnold went back on his word. The criticism is starting to take its toll, and Arnold’s popularity is heading south.

In San Francisco our flamboyant mayor, Gavin Newsom, hit a few road bumps this year, too. His beautiful wife left him after just a couple of years of marriage, because their careers were more important than their marriage. And, after touting his support for same-sex marriages, Gavin has now taken a slightly lower profile. There’s now a feeling among many Democrats that he may have hurt the party in the last election by his public support for that controversial issue, and he’s now trying to tone down his act a little.

These are interesting times, and I’m leading an interesting life!

For more than 20 years I’ve been writing summaries of what’s going on in my life and in the world around me on my birthday. Here’s an excerpt from 2004 …

April 24, 2004

On my birthday I’m 53 years old.

The past year has been a mix of good and bad, but overall it’s been one of the best for me.

On the positive side, I have the chance for a new beginning and an opportunity to pursue my dreams because after 22 years at Visa I took early retirement last September. This change allows me to spend more time with my family and friends, to travel, and to pursue a second career as a writer.

On the negative side, over the past year I watched my father and father-in-law get older and frailer and we lost more relatives and friends. I am also discouraged by the fact that the U.S. has engaged in another war, and I’m saddened that during my lifetime I won’t get to live in a world that settles its differences through peaceful means.

The past year was going along like most through August. Patty and I had taken several wonderful trips (including a summer journey to Portugal, Spain, and France; a family reunion in the Black Hills; my birthday in Oregon; time with friends in the Bahamas (Abaco) and at Lake Shasta and Drakesbad; ski trips to Lake Tahoe and Utah; biking in Portugal and the Waves to Wine; and family visits to Nebraska in September, December, and April and Oklahoma in July, September, November, December and February).

Then in September my job was eliminated and I was pushed out the door with 48 hours to clear out my office. It was an abrupt ending to what had been a great career.

I was determined to do nothing for three months except join a gym, work out regularly, and spend time with Patty and our families.

In January, I took on a big volunteer role with SCIP, leading the team that organizes their annual conference and writing a column for their magazine. I’ve also signed up for a writing class and made two documentary videos on Operation Deep Freeze and our trip to Abaco.

This transition has been wonderful so far, and about the only things I miss about Visa are the people and the paychecks. By now I feel like I’m well started on this second phase of my life.

In the news, the U.S. invaded Iraq last April and overthrew the government. A coalition of countries joined the U.S. and U.K. in this effort, but most of the world wanted the U.N. to deal with Iraq and many of them are now upset at the U.S. for usurping the U.N. The U.S.-led effort overwhelmed Iraq, occupied the country, and tracked down or killed the people that had been in power. Hussein hid out for weeks and was eventually found in a pit behind a farmhouse.

Now, months after the invasion, insurgents from Iraq and surrounding countries are fighting the U.S.-led troops, and casualties continue without much progress toward establishing order and local control. No weapons of mass destruction have been found, and President Bush is fighting to maintain credibility.

Presidential elections will be held this fall, and the primaries have begun. John Kerry is the likely Democratic nominee, after he beat our Howard Dean and several others. Kerry is likely to be a liberal and controversail candidate, and the presidential election this fall will probably be a costly mess.

For more than 20 years I’ve been writing summaries of what’s going on in my life and in the world around me on my birthday. Here’s an excerpt from 2003 …

April 24, 2003

On my birthday I’m 52 years old.

This stage of life seems to be filled with lots of ups and downs, highs and lows, joys and sadness. The past year has been very fulfilling, as I’ve traveled, built on my outside interests, achieved several personal goals, and spent time with family and friends.

We had a fabulous vacation in Ireland last July — bicycling and touring southern Ireland for two weeks. The weather was wonderful, the sights awesome, the people warm and welcoming, and the food surprisingly good. The bicycle tour far exceeded our expectations. We were with a group of mostly Americans of all ages, and a young Irish tour guide who added a good deal of history, culture, and fun. He took us on back roads to avoid traffic and by doing so we got to see more small towns and country roads. We stayed in bed-and-breakfasts, and the hostesses were charming and friendly.

During the second week, we drove across the southern coast of Ireland, with stops in Kinsale, Waterford, and eventually Dublin. While in Waterford, we spent a night with my third cousin, Phil Kennedy, who still lives on and farms the Lacy farm where my great-grandfather (Michael Lacy) was born and raised. We got to see the house where he was born, where he went to school, and where he sailed for America. Knowing where you came from is a powerful experience. Phil and his family are wonderful people, and it’s good to know you have nice relatives from way back.

We also spent time in Oklahoma with Patty’s Dad in February, May, and October and we visited Anne, Buzz, and Ian in Oregon in April. We did our usual trip to Drakesbad in August and had a wonderful tiime with our gang of friends. In September, we went to Cape Cod for four days and rode bicycles all over the Cape. We went to Colorado in October for John and Beth Spence’s wedding party, and spent a very snowy Christmas in Oklahoma with Patty’s Dad.

We went to Hawaii last November with Patty’s Dad, and had a great trip. Unfortunately, the last night there Paul fell and broke his arm. He spent a few days with us recovering, then Patty went to Oklahoma to help him. She was absolutely wonderful to him and I’m convinced without her help he would have had to move into a care facility.

The past year has also had its bleak times. Unfortunately, I’ve watched my father’s health go dramatically downhill. He has Parkinson’s, which has left him very bent over, slowed him down, and is taking away some of his short-term memory. He’s also lost most of his sight to macular degeneration and he can no longer read or drive, so his days are long and boring.

The U.S. got involved in another war this past year. After working with the U.N. for months to try to force Iraq to get rid of their outlawed weapons (now being called weapons of mass destruction) President Bush grew tired of negotiating and attacked Iraq with a massive arial and ground attack. Now, a month later, the U.S. controls Iraq and is trying to establish a democratic government. Meanwhile, more than 100 U.S. and British troops are dead, along with thousands of Iraquis.

My job situation has deteriorated over the past year. My boss, who I got along with, was fired in August. That was a blow, as no reason was given and it was devastating to her and demoralizing to me. Then in February my work group was transferred to another division, and I was assigned to work for a woman who is a control freak and who thinks the way I’ve designed my group is wrong. After two months, we are no closer to working out a compromise than we were the first day, so this looks like it is going to be a struggle. I no longer enjoy my job, and I no longer respect the people and company I work for.

Patty is flourishing in her retirement. She spends her time doing good things for herself and for those she loves. She is more involved in exercise, cooking, fund raising, her clubs, and her friends. She is setting a terrific example for me to follow when I am able to join her.

After procrastinating for several years, we finally re-modeled the room above the garage. Patty was in charge of the project, and she found, hired, and managed carpenters, plumbers, and electricians. It took six months and $50,000 and the end result is fantastic! We now have another bathroom, bedroom, and two additional closets.

At this age, I definately feel middle-aged. That is unsettling but not uncomfortable. I feel good about what I have accomplished to this point, but also feel there is a good deal more to accomplish. My priorities are right (relationship first, family and friends next) and that gives me a good deal of satisfaction. My goal for the next year is to sort out my work situation, write more, and be better to those I love. If I can do that, I will feel better about being middle-aged, and even better about myself.

All in all, life is very good at 52!

For more than 20 years I’ve been writing summaries of what’s going on in my life and in the world around me on my birthday. Here’s an excerpt from 2002 …

April 24, 2002

On my birthday I’m 51 years old.

Fifty-one is an interesting age. By this time there’s no denying you are middle-aged, but some of the advantages of that status have yet to appear. At this age friends and relatives tend to be kinder as they acknowledge your birthday because they’ve already been there, or because they feel sorry for you.

It seems like the ’90s were a long time ago. It’s only been two years, but it seems like more, and each day of the past year has been a little more intense. Last year (2001) was not going well when things went from bad to worse as four airplanes were hijacked and crashed into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, and our lives were changed forever. We are all suspects now, because no one can be trusted.

A month after the attacks Patty and I went to New York City, because Mayor Guiliani asked us to. We didn’t want to spend money on anniversary gifts for each other after so many had lost so much so we donated to 9/11 relief funds and then spent our anniversary in NYC. It was an amazing, memorable trip. We watched the city grieve, and then begin to heal. The people of New York were incredibly friendly, and strangers thanked us for traveling to their city. We toured Ground Zero, where the rubble was still smoking; and firemen, police, and volunteers from all walks of life worked around the clock to clear the remains. Security was tight everywhere we went.

We walked through Grand Central Station and stood at the memorials and read the missing person notices on bulletin boards. The stories seemed so personal from that distance. We walked through Central Park where the trees were in color and explored the east side of Manhattan. We went to the Chrysler Building and the top of the Empire State Building and down Park Avenue, where American flags waved from businesses and homes. We saw two excellent plays (42nd Street and The Women) and had wonderful meals at sparcely-populated New York City restaurants. It was an emotional experience and we felt fortunate to witness the strength and determination of the people of New York.

A month later Patty lost her job at Visa. Technically, she was re-organized out of a job, which is a common way for U.S. companies to replace employees now, and she was “let go” with benefits and a nice severance package. But it was grossly mishandled and it really hurt Patty. She told her Dad and brother at Thanksgiving and they were their usual supportive selves. She is now turning into Mrs. “Super Volunteer,” and is being asked to serve on an assortment of non-profit boards and committees. I’m proud of the way she’s handling this adjustment and enjoy watching her blossom into another version of her mother.

Despite our work and family commitments we took several terrific trips over the past year. We went to Mexico in May after Patty won a stay in a private home in Mazatlan. We joined more than 100 other Fehringers in Nebraska in July for a family reunion, and spent a good deal of time with Patty’s Dad in Oklahoma.

We attended our fourth Olympics in Salt Lake City, joining friends to fight through extremely tight security and winter blizzards to see a wonderful Opening Ceremony and peaceful Winter Games.

In the news, the U.S. and its allies invaded Afghanistan shortly after the terrorist attacks. The goal was to root out and destroy the Islamic extremists who were behind the 9/11 attacks. The head of that group (which is called Al Quaeda) is a man named Osama bin Laden, the middle-aged son of a wealthy Saudi family. He has been hiding in Afghanistan where the Taliban gives him protection, and the objective is get in, get him and his cronies, and get back out, so we will avoid the quagmire the Russians faced a few years ago.

Economically, the past year was the Year of the Dot.Com’ers, many of whom crashed and burned along with their start-up Internet companies. The “New Economy” turned out to be the Old Economy in t-shirts, and those who didn’t have a sound business model are now gone.

The Catholic Church is facing a major scandal over widespread reports of pedophile by its priests. Headlines, lawsuits, and settlements are the order of the day, and it’s likely to be with us for awhile.

The past year has not been a good one for much of the world, but at 163 Jersey Street I’m satisfied with most parts of my life. In general, things here are going very well.

For more than 20 years I’ve been writing summaries of what’s going on in my life and in the world around me on my birthday. Here’s an excerpt from 2001 …

April 24, 2001

On my birthday I’m 50 years old.

It’s a beautiful sunny day, which makes it even better to be home from work and celebrating my birthday! And it’s not just any birthday … today I’m 50 years old! Patty’s Mom always said “life begins at 50″ but I think she said that about 40 and 60, too. But her point is to make life begin at whatever age you are, rather than waiting for a later age to start things.

This is the year I will start a new life. It will be surrounded by a wonderful and loving wife and by very dear families and friends. Patty has had an extremely hard year and she has suffered immensely. She misses her mother and hurts from watching what it has done to her father. She is determined, however, to carry on where her mother left off, and that is what is allowing her to get through each day. She continues to be very busy with the clubs she participates in and the charities she is involved with and those activities help her avoid thinking about her mother. She has been very sweet to her father, to Allan, and to me. She helped me through knee surgery in January and was a loving and compassionate nurse. She was in a low-grade depression for some time after the loss of ther mother, but she seems to be pulling out of it and is blossoming into the next generation of her mother. It’s a wonderful thing to watch!

As of today I’m eligible to take early retirement from Visa. That’s something I’ve been thinking about for some time and hope to accomplish in the next few years. My goal is to become a free-lance writer, and I’ve been working on that in my spare time for a few years now.

During the past year two people who were very special to me passed away and their absence has had a great effect on me. Patty’s mother lost her battle with cancer last fall. She had a type of cancer that was treatable, but after completing several chemotheraphy treatments she didn’t recover from the last one. Her death was devastating to everyone who knew her. Ines was one of those very rare people who was completely giving and was loved by everyone she knew. Patty’s family received hundreds of notes from friends and relatives after her death, and nearly everone told about the “special” relatonship they had with her. I miss her every day and am lost without her.

Jackie Cooper, who worked with me at Visa, died suddenly of meningitis a few weeks ago. Jackie, who was only 58, was one of those special, giving, caring, and happy people. She made the most of every aspect of her life, and she always had time and energy to care for others.

I admired Ines and Jackie and I miss them. I will try to take some consolation from having known them and I will try to learn from them. From Ines I would like to always see the good in every thing that happens. From Jackie, I will try to always have a sparkle in my eyes, to let the world know that I’m enjoying life.

This has been another very busy year. Last year we went to Oklahoma each month to help Patty’s dad take care of her mother, and to help keep up their house and garden. Between those trips, we went to Oregon to see Anne and her family, to Colorado for a ski trip, a long weekend in Sonoma, to Drakesbad, to Nebraska for a family reunion, a trip to Branson, Missouri with Paul and Allan McCrary, and a two-week trip to Australia, where we saw the Olympics and the Great Barrier Reef.

Our families are well, although all parents are showing signs of their age. Dad McCrary was in the hospital during Easter. At 86, his mind is still very sharp, but as he says, his body is getting tired. My Dad lost most of the sight in one eye to macular degeneration, and he has the problem in his other eye. He is also beginning to ramble during conversations, and has some short-term memory loss. My Mom is doing well and is very active. She just won three ribbons for her watercolor paintings, and is going to enter one in a state art show.

Sister Anne is less that a month away from her two-year anniversary of completing cancer treatments. She is very excited about getting past that milestone, as her doctor told her that 80% of those who get cancer again get it within two years of the end of treatment. She looks and feels great, and her experience has given her a more relaxed, purposeful outlook on life.

In the news, this was the year of the contested presidential election. After a very close (and very long) campaign, Al Gore and George Bush went into Election Day in a dead heat. Following a long day of election returns it all came down to the popular vote in Florida, which had enough electoral votes to turn the election one way or the other. Then began a series of recounts and lawsuits that lasted a month. During that time the country was pretty much at a standstill and more than a little embarrassed in front of the rest of the world. Bush prevailed in a very contested mess, and he took office with a group of his father’s cronies, and with the U.S. economy easing into a recession.

The Internet has proven to be one of the technical marvels of our time. It’s most significant contribution has been a quicker, less expensive way to communicate, and a good share of person-to-person communications is being shifted to it. Businesses are learning that it allows them another way to communicate with existing and potential customers, although it does not replace the other ways. Start-up businesses, hoping to capitalize from this new technology, are learning that it really is necessary to make a profit, and that a new idea doesn’t pay the bills. Many of them have gone out of business and many of the rest are wrestling with how to increase revenues. Security, privacy, and receiving and returning goods are problems that await solutions.

The world’s economies are struggling. Japan has never recovered from its slowdown, and Europe’s economies are growing, but the European Community is slow getting started. Much of the developing world is battening down the hatches, preparing to be affected by the slowing U.S. economy.

California is in the midst of an energy crises. The state de-regulated its wholesale energy market last year, but maintained regulation of the retail distributors. So the wholesalers have overcharged the regulated energy company, which hasn’t been able to pass along the costs to consumers. PG&E declared bankruptcy last month, and we are all nervously awaiting the results. We have had rolling energy blackouts the past few months and will likely have more this summer.

Last year was the subway series in baseball between the New York Mets and New York Yankees. The Yankees won.

For more than 20 years I’ve been writing summaries of what’s going on in my life and in the world around me on my birthday. Here’s an excerpt from 2000 …

April 24, 2000

On my birthday I’m 49 years old.

Yesterday was Easter Sunday and we had a wonderful Easter egg hunt and dinner! It was a gorgeous sunny day and we had a very full house, including my parents. It’s very special to be able to share Easter at our house each year with our friends and families.

The past year has been a very special one, with many highs and a few lows. In the former, the new millenium dawned with much fanfare and few problems. The long-feared Y2K turned out to be a fizzle, either because it was overstated or because so many people worked so hard to avoid the predicted problems. We celebrated the new year at a black tie party at Julius’ Castle in San Francisco, and it was a wonderful evening! The entire town was out celebrating, and we had one of the best views of all. Patty’s parents joined us, as did most of our friends and families. It was one of the best nights ever!

Unfortunately, Patty’s Mom was ill that night. She didn’t let it keep her from going to the party, but we could tell she wasn’t feeling well. The next day Patty and her Dad took Ines to the hospital and a few days later they flew home. She has since been diagonized with cancer and is undergoing chemotherapy. We are going to Stillwater regularly to help Patty’s Dad take care of her.

We’ve had several excellent trips the past year including Oregon, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Drakesbad, Colorado, and Santa Barbara. I attended my 30th high school reunion in Chappell in August (how did 30 years pass so quickly)?

A new baseball stadium opened in San Francisco in April. We were there at Opening Day and it was a special day in a very special new ballpark. We’ve had our Giants season tickets for many years, and now we are going to enjoy going to baseball games even more.

In the news, the 2000 presidential primaries are underway. Stressing “compassionate conservatism,” George W. Bush has emerged as the Republican frontrunner, and Vice President Al Gore is the Democratic favorite. The absence of big issues in these prosperous times have created a frivolous, celebrity-laden side show featuring the likes of Warren Beatty and Donald Trump.

The four days of air strikes against Iraq in Dec. 1998, an international P.R. disaster for the U.S. and Britain, were followed by a low-profile war of attrition in which hundreds of almost daily bombings have been directed against Iraqi targets within the no-fly zones. Although the air strikes continued throughout the year, the press all but ignored them, particularly during the Kosovo crisis. In that latter conflict, the U.S. and Britain took the lead in NATO’s war on Belgrade, a war the American public cautiously embraced.

In etertainment, American Beauty, The Cider House Rules, The Green Mile, and The Sixth Sense have been the hottest movies. Leading actors include Russell Crowe, Richard Farnsworth, Sean Penn, Kevin Spacey, and Denzel Washington; leading actresses include Annette Bening, Janet McTeer, Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, and Hilary Swank.